The writer had a rough weekend and accidentally stayed out too late on Sunday, swept up in the President's Day three-day weekend mania. Except, I actually did work today.
Late last night/early this morning, nursing my drunken state with some pizza, I flipped on Talk Sex With Sue on the Oxygen channel. I can't think of any show in the history of television that brings a bigger smile to me face. Sue does a segment called the "Hot Stuff" bag, where she reviews new sex toys.
Well, who knew they made vibrators to go with your cell phone? Sue introduced the "OhMiBod BodiTalk Escort" vibrator that will turn on whenever it picks up cell phone signals. The FCC only lets Sue go into so much detail, but I did my own research online to learn more about how it works and what it costs.
As expected, you basically just have to insert it and go about your business, with a cord attached all day. Obviously, tight clothes are out. Also, you may have trouble explaining away the wire coming out of your pants. But the real question is, exactly what kinds of cell phone signals is this picking up?
I imagine it's probably the same kind of signals that my stupid old school alarm clock picks up when my iPhone rings making these loud clicking noises that always confuse me. But, seriously, if you're out and about, and the phone rings, then what? I'd be hard- (pun fully intended) pressed to carry on idle chatter with, say, ANYONE on my CELL phone while I'm walking around the city, shopping, or on the bus.
I'd write something to sum this up, but Sue does it so well:
"The BODITALK ESCORT is a small, vibrating bullet that -as they say -”fits discretely into all the right places.” Read crotch of your panties or shorts or vagina. It is activated when you use your cell phone. Turn it on and whenever your cell phone rings, you are buzzing for the length of the call. What if it's your mother???…"
"Why do I think they are both kinda unnecessary accessories, like, really, where would you use them? At the office, driving your car, at the kid's hockey game? My testers agreed, but you decide if you can't live without them. It's not that they are bad products – they're just stupid."
If, after all that, and like me, you still want to spend the $59 on it, be my guest. Just don't answer the phone when I call and you're using it. 'K thanks.
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5 comments:
Wow! Call Technorella a bit of a prude - but seriously?! I just can't keep up with the technological advances out there. Here I was... thinking I was finally getting in on the scene by joining Facebook - but looks like I am still way behind the curve.
Thanks, Eddie, as always for reminding me exactly how uncool I actually am with this one...
"uncool" isn't the word I'd use to describe this... it's just weird.
There are actually some other interesting sex/phone products out there. I was particularly intrigued recently to see a vibrator that was controlled by text messaging. I guess you or your partner inserts it somewhere, and then you text and it'll vibrate a bit. Could be interesting at parties or in a meeting at work...
Eddie - check out this link:
http://www.zugidome.com/demo.html
It's about a laser tracking device that brings social neworking/
online dating into the real world. Not related to the iPhone but thought you'd appreciate this... Technorella just blogged about it. Needless to say, she's skeptical.
Hello Ecureuil and thanks for stopping by!
I can only imagine what a text vibrator would be like. God, I love inventors.
Technorella-- I am so there. Looks stressful though. Too much accoutrement to carry around.
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