*Mature Content Alert, i.e. NSFW... well, just don't click on some of the links... oh, and if you're under 18, go away*
I've been alluding to this for some time, but it's taken me a while to get the balls to actually post about it.
RubMyClit is an awesome webapp for the iPhone that turns it into an animated vagina that needs to get off. s you rub the screen (it takes some maneuvering with two fingers) the drawing gets flushed and excited and the "Horny bar" goes up and the screen tells you, "Don't stop! I'm so close." (Check out the video demo here; if you have an iPhone, check out the real deal here)
But I couldn't win. Now, I know I'm gay and all, but I love video games. This pissed me off. Surely there must be a gay version. Not sure what that would be since getting a guy off isn't near as mysterious as getting a girl off, but still. A boy can dream can't he?
The program is licensed by Creative Commons, and links to the iphoneporngrid which specializes in creating porn fit for viewing on the iPhone. I know I've mentioned the MACC before, but you can imagine that as we count down the days until Apple launches the SDK (rumor has it it will be announced next week), the porn industry is staring at the iPhone as the gateway to making truly mobile porn.
I'm curious now what kinds of mobile cyber sex sites there are. What will "iPhone sex" look like?
*Update: My friend G* and U-fabulous were both able to get the girl off, and I finished her off once too in just 3020 seconds. That sounds like decent foreplay. Look for my exclusive interview with the creator of RubMyClit on 3.14! Yay pi!*
*Update: Here is the first of my two-part interview with Tim Vandecasteele of RubMyClit fame.
Showing posts with label sex toys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex toys. Show all posts
Friday, February 29, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Sex WITH the iPhone
The writer had a rough weekend and accidentally stayed out too late on Sunday, swept up in the President's Day three-day weekend mania. Except, I actually did work today.
Late last night/early this morning, nursing my drunken state with some pizza, I flipped on Talk Sex With Sue on the Oxygen channel. I can't think of any show in the history of television that brings a bigger smile to me face. Sue does a segment called the "Hot Stuff" bag, where she reviews new sex toys.
Well, who knew they made vibrators to go with your cell phone? Sue introduced the "OhMiBod BodiTalk Escort" vibrator that will turn on whenever it picks up cell phone signals. The FCC only lets Sue go into so much detail, but I did my own research online to learn more about how it works and what it costs.
As expected, you basically just have to insert it and go about your business, with a cord attached all day. Obviously, tight clothes are out. Also, you may have trouble explaining away the wire coming out of your pants. But the real question is, exactly what kinds of cell phone signals is this picking up?
I imagine it's probably the same kind of signals that my stupid old school alarm clock picks up when my iPhone rings making these loud clicking noises that always confuse me. But, seriously, if you're out and about, and the phone rings, then what? I'd be hard- (pun fully intended) pressed to carry on idle chatter with, say, ANYONE on my CELL phone while I'm walking around the city, shopping, or on the bus.
I'd write something to sum this up, but Sue does it so well:
"The BODITALK ESCORT is a small, vibrating bullet that -as they say -”fits discretely into all the right places.” Read crotch of your panties or shorts or vagina. It is activated when you use your cell phone. Turn it on and whenever your cell phone rings, you are buzzing for the length of the call. What if it's your mother???…"
"Why do I think they are both kinda unnecessary accessories, like, really, where would you use them? At the office, driving your car, at the kid's hockey game? My testers agreed, but you decide if you can't live without them. It's not that they are bad products – they're just stupid."
If, after all that, and like me, you still want to spend the $59 on it, be my guest. Just don't answer the phone when I call and you're using it. 'K thanks.
Late last night/early this morning, nursing my drunken state with some pizza, I flipped on Talk Sex With Sue on the Oxygen channel. I can't think of any show in the history of television that brings a bigger smile to me face. Sue does a segment called the "Hot Stuff" bag, where she reviews new sex toys.
Well, who knew they made vibrators to go with your cell phone? Sue introduced the "OhMiBod BodiTalk Escort" vibrator that will turn on whenever it picks up cell phone signals. The FCC only lets Sue go into so much detail, but I did my own research online to learn more about how it works and what it costs.
As expected, you basically just have to insert it and go about your business, with a cord attached all day. Obviously, tight clothes are out. Also, you may have trouble explaining away the wire coming out of your pants. But the real question is, exactly what kinds of cell phone signals is this picking up?
I imagine it's probably the same kind of signals that my stupid old school alarm clock picks up when my iPhone rings making these loud clicking noises that always confuse me. But, seriously, if you're out and about, and the phone rings, then what? I'd be hard- (pun fully intended) pressed to carry on idle chatter with, say, ANYONE on my CELL phone while I'm walking around the city, shopping, or on the bus.
I'd write something to sum this up, but Sue does it so well:
"The BODITALK ESCORT is a small, vibrating bullet that -as they say -”fits discretely into all the right places.” Read crotch of your panties or shorts or vagina. It is activated when you use your cell phone. Turn it on and whenever your cell phone rings, you are buzzing for the length of the call. What if it's your mother???…"
"Why do I think they are both kinda unnecessary accessories, like, really, where would you use them? At the office, driving your car, at the kid's hockey game? My testers agreed, but you decide if you can't live without them. It's not that they are bad products – they're just stupid."
If, after all that, and like me, you still want to spend the $59 on it, be my guest. Just don't answer the phone when I call and you're using it. 'K thanks.
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