*Mature Content Alert, i.e. NSFW... well, just don't click on some of the links... oh, and if you're under 18, go away*
I've been alluding to this for some time, but it's taken me a while to get the balls to actually post about it.
RubMyClit is an awesome webapp for the iPhone that turns it into an animated vagina that needs to get off. s you rub the screen (it takes some maneuvering with two fingers) the drawing gets flushed and excited and the "Horny bar" goes up and the screen tells you, "Don't stop! I'm so close." (Check out the video demo here; if you have an iPhone, check out the real deal here)
But I couldn't win. Now, I know I'm gay and all, but I love video games. This pissed me off. Surely there must be a gay version. Not sure what that would be since getting a guy off isn't near as mysterious as getting a girl off, but still. A boy can dream can't he?
The program is licensed by Creative Commons, and links to the iphoneporngrid which specializes in creating porn fit for viewing on the iPhone. I know I've mentioned the MACC before, but you can imagine that as we count down the days until Apple launches the SDK (rumor has it it will be announced next week), the porn industry is staring at the iPhone as the gateway to making truly mobile porn.
I'm curious now what kinds of mobile cyber sex sites there are. What will "iPhone sex" look like?
*Update: My friend G* and U-fabulous were both able to get the girl off, and I finished her off once too in just 3020 seconds. That sounds like decent foreplay. Look for my exclusive interview with the creator of RubMyClit on 3.14! Yay pi!*
*Update: Here is the first of my two-part interview with Tim Vandecasteele of RubMyClit fame.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
With iPhone All Things Are Possible
So, half the pop-culture obsessed world saw John Stewart playing on his iPhone last night at the Oscars. (You may remember, the first iPhone commercial ever debuted during last year's Oscars).
But John Stewart playing with an iPhone didn't surprise me. No, instead, it was my parents playing with my iPhone that shocked the hell out of me.
Full disclosure: both of my parents used to be drill instructors in the Marine Corps. This guy was also a drill instructor in the Marine Corps:
My parents are now in their 50's and 60's, living in Indiana, and enjoying a comfortably middle-class existence blissfully devoid of technological advancement. (For instance, my mother received notice from Verizon last year that the cell phone she purchased in 1998 for emergencies, was not going to work when the switch from analog to digital happened in 2007 and she finally had to upgrade.)
But this year has been different for my parents. They bought a new HD LCD TV. They switched to an HD cable box and some asshole salesman at Insight (the Cable company) talked them into DVR. I went home this weekend for the first time in 2008 and my dad, who has had DVR for 42 days now asked me, "So, what the heck is this D-V-R thing anyway?"
Now that the scene is set, enter iPhone. My parents think it's the coolest thing ever that I can get the internet on my phone. They love being able to access imdb to solve movie arguments, pinching the screen to zoom in, and really like googling their old friends to see if we can find them or their obituary. Sadly, they still have no idea what the internet is, or how it works.
What shocked me most was when my mom asked me if I could pull up YouTube because she wanted to see the Superbowl commercial my dad wouldn't stop talking about. (Bonus points for the reader that can guess which commercial was a big hit in my parents' house.) The creepy part is she knew what YouTube was and what we use it for.
It was interesting to see my parents getting so excited over the iPhone. My sister and I have been telling them to dump the 12 year old HP Pavillion in the basement for about 10 years now. Maybe they could upgrade to iPhones.
But John Stewart playing with an iPhone didn't surprise me. No, instead, it was my parents playing with my iPhone that shocked the hell out of me.
Full disclosure: both of my parents used to be drill instructors in the Marine Corps. This guy was also a drill instructor in the Marine Corps:
My parents are now in their 50's and 60's, living in Indiana, and enjoying a comfortably middle-class existence blissfully devoid of technological advancement. (For instance, my mother received notice from Verizon last year that the cell phone she purchased in 1998 for emergencies, was not going to work when the switch from analog to digital happened in 2007 and she finally had to upgrade.)
But this year has been different for my parents. They bought a new HD LCD TV. They switched to an HD cable box and some asshole salesman at Insight (the Cable company) talked them into DVR. I went home this weekend for the first time in 2008 and my dad, who has had DVR for 42 days now asked me, "So, what the heck is this D-V-R thing anyway?"
Now that the scene is set, enter iPhone. My parents think it's the coolest thing ever that I can get the internet on my phone. They love being able to access imdb to solve movie arguments, pinching the screen to zoom in, and really like googling their old friends to see if we can find them or their obituary. Sadly, they still have no idea what the internet is, or how it works.
What shocked me most was when my mom asked me if I could pull up YouTube because she wanted to see the Superbowl commercial my dad wouldn't stop talking about. (Bonus points for the reader that can guess which commercial was a big hit in my parents' house.) The creepy part is she knew what YouTube was and what we use it for.
It was interesting to see my parents getting so excited over the iPhone. My sister and I have been telling them to dump the 12 year old HP Pavillion in the basement for about 10 years now. Maybe they could upgrade to iPhones.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
It's About Protection
Last night, my friends and I went to Princeton to see a seminary production of The Vagina Monologues. This is serendipitous/coincidental/ironic because Jewels recently introduced me to a program for the iPhone that turns the touch screen into an animated vagina which users than fondle until it gets off. I will be writing more about this once I do some research; you see, this post is about protection.
New Jersey really is a foreign place to me. I love traveling and a good adventure, but the NJT and me are not BFF. After leaving work at 5 pm, I finally arrived at the McKay Student Center at 7:59 pm just before the angry vaginas and raucous feminist priestesses took the stage. (Now, this is not a review of the show, but as a side note, it was pretty awesome.)
The real tragedy occurred at approximately 10:27 pm outside of the WaWa near the Dinky Train Station at Princeton. My sister in Indiana sent me a text that said, "We just got new phones and we have text messaging now! Thought u should know!"
My friends were all very amused at her excitement over a mobile trend that was "so five years ago" and wanted to see this message. In passing iPhone to them, it happened. A quick slip, a lot of over dramatic yelling, a dive to cushion it against the nasty puked-on (I'm sure) pavement of the WaWa and CRASH (well, it was probably more just a light scatter)-- iPhone hit the pavement and now has a dent in it.
I realize I've never named my iPhone. Hence the poll.
This brought up a discussion of iPhone protection. There are all kinds of cases out there for the iPhone and I chose to purchase this one from Waterfield Designs in green. It holds the phone, isn't too bulky, and the silky insides clean the grime off the phone in between uses. But, when the phone is out of its nest, it is raw and unprotected. Hence, there is now a dent in it.
It's hard to find the best case though when no one (read: no celebrity) is carrying the same case around. The phone was trendy enough, but who out there is brave enough to lead the world in telling us what case to buy?
New Jersey really is a foreign place to me. I love traveling and a good adventure, but the NJT and me are not BFF. After leaving work at 5 pm, I finally arrived at the McKay Student Center at 7:59 pm just before the angry vaginas and raucous feminist priestesses took the stage. (Now, this is not a review of the show, but as a side note, it was pretty awesome.)
The real tragedy occurred at approximately 10:27 pm outside of the WaWa near the Dinky Train Station at Princeton. My sister in Indiana sent me a text that said, "We just got new phones and we have text messaging now! Thought u should know!"
My friends were all very amused at her excitement over a mobile trend that was "so five years ago" and wanted to see this message. In passing iPhone to them, it happened. A quick slip, a lot of over dramatic yelling, a dive to cushion it against the nasty puked-on (I'm sure) pavement of the WaWa and CRASH (well, it was probably more just a light scatter)-- iPhone hit the pavement and now has a dent in it.
I realize I've never named my iPhone. Hence the poll.
This brought up a discussion of iPhone protection. There are all kinds of cases out there for the iPhone and I chose to purchase this one from Waterfield Designs in green. It holds the phone, isn't too bulky, and the silky insides clean the grime off the phone in between uses. But, when the phone is out of its nest, it is raw and unprotected. Hence, there is now a dent in it.
It's hard to find the best case though when no one (read: no celebrity) is carrying the same case around. The phone was trendy enough, but who out there is brave enough to lead the world in telling us what case to buy?
Monday, February 18, 2008
Sex WITH the iPhone
The writer had a rough weekend and accidentally stayed out too late on Sunday, swept up in the President's Day three-day weekend mania. Except, I actually did work today.
Late last night/early this morning, nursing my drunken state with some pizza, I flipped on Talk Sex With Sue on the Oxygen channel. I can't think of any show in the history of television that brings a bigger smile to me face. Sue does a segment called the "Hot Stuff" bag, where she reviews new sex toys.
Well, who knew they made vibrators to go with your cell phone? Sue introduced the "OhMiBod BodiTalk Escort" vibrator that will turn on whenever it picks up cell phone signals. The FCC only lets Sue go into so much detail, but I did my own research online to learn more about how it works and what it costs.
As expected, you basically just have to insert it and go about your business, with a cord attached all day. Obviously, tight clothes are out. Also, you may have trouble explaining away the wire coming out of your pants. But the real question is, exactly what kinds of cell phone signals is this picking up?
I imagine it's probably the same kind of signals that my stupid old school alarm clock picks up when my iPhone rings making these loud clicking noises that always confuse me. But, seriously, if you're out and about, and the phone rings, then what? I'd be hard- (pun fully intended) pressed to carry on idle chatter with, say, ANYONE on my CELL phone while I'm walking around the city, shopping, or on the bus.
I'd write something to sum this up, but Sue does it so well:
"The BODITALK ESCORT is a small, vibrating bullet that -as they say -”fits discretely into all the right places.” Read crotch of your panties or shorts or vagina. It is activated when you use your cell phone. Turn it on and whenever your cell phone rings, you are buzzing for the length of the call. What if it's your mother???…"
"Why do I think they are both kinda unnecessary accessories, like, really, where would you use them? At the office, driving your car, at the kid's hockey game? My testers agreed, but you decide if you can't live without them. It's not that they are bad products – they're just stupid."
If, after all that, and like me, you still want to spend the $59 on it, be my guest. Just don't answer the phone when I call and you're using it. 'K thanks.
Late last night/early this morning, nursing my drunken state with some pizza, I flipped on Talk Sex With Sue on the Oxygen channel. I can't think of any show in the history of television that brings a bigger smile to me face. Sue does a segment called the "Hot Stuff" bag, where she reviews new sex toys.
Well, who knew they made vibrators to go with your cell phone? Sue introduced the "OhMiBod BodiTalk Escort" vibrator that will turn on whenever it picks up cell phone signals. The FCC only lets Sue go into so much detail, but I did my own research online to learn more about how it works and what it costs.
As expected, you basically just have to insert it and go about your business, with a cord attached all day. Obviously, tight clothes are out. Also, you may have trouble explaining away the wire coming out of your pants. But the real question is, exactly what kinds of cell phone signals is this picking up?
I imagine it's probably the same kind of signals that my stupid old school alarm clock picks up when my iPhone rings making these loud clicking noises that always confuse me. But, seriously, if you're out and about, and the phone rings, then what? I'd be hard- (pun fully intended) pressed to carry on idle chatter with, say, ANYONE on my CELL phone while I'm walking around the city, shopping, or on the bus.
I'd write something to sum this up, but Sue does it so well:
"The BODITALK ESCORT is a small, vibrating bullet that -as they say -”fits discretely into all the right places.” Read crotch of your panties or shorts or vagina. It is activated when you use your cell phone. Turn it on and whenever your cell phone rings, you are buzzing for the length of the call. What if it's your mother???…"
"Why do I think they are both kinda unnecessary accessories, like, really, where would you use them? At the office, driving your car, at the kid's hockey game? My testers agreed, but you decide if you can't live without them. It's not that they are bad products – they're just stupid."
If, after all that, and like me, you still want to spend the $59 on it, be my guest. Just don't answer the phone when I call and you're using it. 'K thanks.
iBand
Gizmodo reported on this today. I have to admit this greatly appeals to that part of me that loved making music with Mario Paint on my Super Nintendo in 1995.
This new Band, calling themselves iBand, uses two apps created for the iPhone called "Pocket Guitar" and "iAno" but these can only work if you "jailbreak" your iPhone (which voids the warranty, requires skills and knowledge, and kills a puppy).
Imagine how annoying this will become when the SDK comes out And everyone can add this to their iPhone. I am picturing a whole new era of street performers and upscale beggers. But I guess "iPaint Bucket and Trash Can Drums" will need to be created first.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
The Power of NOW: Mobile Dating Part 1 of ...
*Mature Content Alert, i.e. NSFW... well, just don't click on some of the links... oh, and if you're under 18, go away*
The way I see it, the iPhone should be a lot further along than it is when it comes to online dating, social networking, and, well casual sex.
There are all kinds of mobile or WAP sites for the various dating sites like Match and even JDate, but all of these are just portals to existing content and profiles that doesn't enhance the user experience save for a bit more "real-time" winking and flirting.
However, I require a bit more urgency. And I have high standards for technology. I'm still shocked when I realize a website doesn't have the functionality I expect it to.
A scan of iPhone webapps in the Social Networking category left me incredibly disappointed. Same old, same old . Looking around some of the leading online dating blogs (Collaboradate and the Online Dating Post) promised that 2008 would be the year that mobile dating really takes off in the US.
But seriously, how could there not be a site that takes advantage of the easy-to-use iPhone and alerts potential dates/one-night stands that I'm not only their type, but that I'm also in the same bar as they are?!?
And then I discovered iPling. For one week now, the writer has been a member of iPling. It was a new program and so I assumed it was all about hooking up. I should have known something was up when I went to join and it asked me to check the box to confirm that I was at least 13 before proceeding. Uh-oh.
When I finally figured out how to register, iPling's loose GPS system recognized my Queens address as some place in Iowa (save it all you Queens haters). When I repositioned myself in Manhattan's West Village, I had some more luck. iPling started in San Francisco and is a very new webapp that takes after the popularity of Japanese and European mobile dating/social networking phenomena.
The idea with iPling is that users can find locals in their area who share interest and meet up. I figured this meant casual sex, too. And I wasn't alone...
The interface was nearly impossible to understand and navigate. When it told me I had three words to describe myself I chose "gay, 25, single" just to make sure I got the important stuff out there right away. After I sorted out my profile (btw-- there's no way to post a picture, probably the most obvious drawback of this new program), I could look at the other people who matched my profile in the area. There were 8 on the entire island of Manhattan. Either I had discovered the next big thing or this was the lamest program ever.
Once you see someone you like, you can "Pling" them, which means you send an anonymous text message to their phone alerting them that you're nearby. Problem was, I "Plinged" three women (there was no way to tell otherise) asking them if they were looking to meet up. I know it sounds gross, but I was a.) researching for you, the readers and b.) mislead by what I hoped was another hookup site.
I never received any responses to my outgoing Plings. I left my profile up and active all week and on three occasions I received anonymous text Plings:
They all came from the number "320-75" from users with names like "njdog" and "odnam". iPling let me know that odnam was only 1.28 miles away from me (Njdog was a whopping 29.04 miles away presumably in NJ.) Both users seemed as confused as I was. Another difficult part was that I couldn't just click "respond" to the anonymous text, I had to start the response with a bizarre code like "ipling 2DVTG2." Not very convenient, user friendly, or even fun.
So, with the 13 year old disclaimer in mind, I quickly decided to change my profile to a G-rated one and wait until the real pioneers figure out how to make this site more user-friendly. I am pretty sure sites like this will become more user-friendly when the SDK is unleashed in an upcoming firmware upgrade.
Up next, I continue this foray into the annals of mobile dating and mobile adult content by introducing you all to the MACC.
The way I see it, the iPhone should be a lot further along than it is when it comes to online dating, social networking, and, well casual sex.
There are all kinds of mobile or WAP sites for the various dating sites like Match and even JDate, but all of these are just portals to existing content and profiles that doesn't enhance the user experience save for a bit more "real-time" winking and flirting.
However, I require a bit more urgency. And I have high standards for technology. I'm still shocked when I realize a website doesn't have the functionality I expect it to.
A scan of iPhone webapps in the Social Networking category left me incredibly disappointed. Same old, same old . Looking around some of the leading online dating blogs (Collaboradate and the Online Dating Post) promised that 2008 would be the year that mobile dating really takes off in the US.
But seriously, how could there not be a site that takes advantage of the easy-to-use iPhone and alerts potential dates/one-night stands that I'm not only their type, but that I'm also in the same bar as they are?!?
And then I discovered iPling. For one week now, the writer has been a member of iPling. It was a new program and so I assumed it was all about hooking up. I should have known something was up when I went to join and it asked me to check the box to confirm that I was at least 13 before proceeding. Uh-oh.
When I finally figured out how to register, iPling's loose GPS system recognized my Queens address as some place in Iowa (save it all you Queens haters). When I repositioned myself in Manhattan's West Village, I had some more luck. iPling started in San Francisco and is a very new webapp that takes after the popularity of Japanese and European mobile dating/social networking phenomena.
The idea with iPling is that users can find locals in their area who share interest and meet up. I figured this meant casual sex, too. And I wasn't alone...
The interface was nearly impossible to understand and navigate. When it told me I had three words to describe myself I chose "gay, 25, single" just to make sure I got the important stuff out there right away. After I sorted out my profile (btw-- there's no way to post a picture, probably the most obvious drawback of this new program), I could look at the other people who matched my profile in the area. There were 8 on the entire island of Manhattan. Either I had discovered the next big thing or this was the lamest program ever.
Once you see someone you like, you can "Pling" them, which means you send an anonymous text message to their phone alerting them that you're nearby. Problem was, I "Plinged" three women (there was no way to tell otherise) asking them if they were looking to meet up. I know it sounds gross, but I was a.) researching for you, the readers and b.) mislead by what I hoped was another hookup site.
I never received any responses to my outgoing Plings. I left my profile up and active all week and on three occasions I received anonymous text Plings:
They all came from the number "320-75" from users with names like "njdog" and "odnam". iPling let me know that odnam was only 1.28 miles away from me (Njdog was a whopping 29.04 miles away presumably in NJ.) Both users seemed as confused as I was. Another difficult part was that I couldn't just click "respond" to the anonymous text, I had to start the response with a bizarre code like "ipling 2DVTG2." Not very convenient, user friendly, or even fun.
So, with the 13 year old disclaimer in mind, I quickly decided to change my profile to a G-rated one and wait until the real pioneers figure out how to make this site more user-friendly. I am pretty sure sites like this will become more user-friendly when the SDK is unleashed in an upcoming firmware upgrade.
Up next, I continue this foray into the annals of mobile dating and mobile adult content by introducing you all to the MACC.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
IDK What An SDK Is
Since I've bought my iPhone, I've dealt with a lot of more tech-savvy folks telling me that they "would get an iPhone, but I'm waiting for it be more customizable." I have to admit that I only vaguely knew what that meant-- I mean, I've been pretty up front with the fact that I only bought the iPhone because it looked good, not because I actually understood anything about it.
It wasn't until I started IATC that I actually started to learn about all the cool things that iPhone could do. For instance, when the software update 1.1.3 came about, I only noticed that I now had the ability to send text messages to multiple recipients (thank God!), yet I somehow missed the fact that Maps on the iPhone now came with a limited GPS capability. (And by limited, I mean that I can basically locate myself on the Map within about .5 miles.)
But there is all the talk about the SDK coming down the road. SDK stands for Software Development Kit, which basically allows people to create applications for the iPhone home screen. This is kind of like when Facebook starting allowing people to personalize applications and develop all kinds of stupid programs like "My Heroes Ability." Currently, on iPhone we can only use the basic 10 programs (like calculator and maps) and then any web-based applications or Webapps that sites create (like the Facebook one). Webapps are a big part of the mobile dating series I am preparing, so keep a look out for them.
All of the new Apple and iPhone blogs I've discovered in my character study of the iPhone have revealed that everyone is expecting some kind of big announcement about the SDK at the end of February. I am certainly not the one to have the inside scoop but I'd be interested to see what kinds of advancements are made with porn and mobile dating on the iPhone when these potentially easier to promote and use iPhone programs make their long-awaited debut.
It wasn't until I started IATC that I actually started to learn about all the cool things that iPhone could do. For instance, when the software update 1.1.3 came about, I only noticed that I now had the ability to send text messages to multiple recipients (thank God!), yet I somehow missed the fact that Maps on the iPhone now came with a limited GPS capability. (And by limited, I mean that I can basically locate myself on the Map within about .5 miles.)
But there is all the talk about the SDK coming down the road. SDK stands for Software Development Kit, which basically allows people to create applications for the iPhone home screen. This is kind of like when Facebook starting allowing people to personalize applications and develop all kinds of stupid programs like "My Heroes Ability." Currently, on iPhone we can only use the basic 10 programs (like calculator and maps) and then any web-based applications or Webapps that sites create (like the Facebook one). Webapps are a big part of the mobile dating series I am preparing, so keep a look out for them.
All of the new Apple and iPhone blogs I've discovered in my character study of the iPhone have revealed that everyone is expecting some kind of big announcement about the SDK at the end of February. I am certainly not the one to have the inside scoop but I'd be interested to see what kinds of advancements are made with porn and mobile dating on the iPhone when these potentially easier to promote and use iPhone programs make their long-awaited debut.
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